i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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