do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
