Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
