her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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