gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
