I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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