Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
