I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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