you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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