Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
