That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
