Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
