If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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