She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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