garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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