You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
