I want to make a zoo with you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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