I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
