I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
