One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
