They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
