toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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