Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
