if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
