Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
