I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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