so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
