My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
