Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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