No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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