So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
