What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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