It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
