..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
