my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
