It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
