Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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