I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
