great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
