Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
