my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
