There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
