You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
