At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
