how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
