I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
