dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
