i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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