It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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