I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
