I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was confusing and full of hummus
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
